Life options. There are many pairs of “three principals” throughout life that I have assembled. I will write about them as I make my way through each. Move. Stay. Or Go?
Move. You have decided that you can’t “stay” and you won’t “go.” So, you decide to “move” instead. Moving may mean just a shift in your thinking, a tweak in your diet, a new way to look at a situation or a person that’s been bugging the snot out of you. You are doing/thinking/believing something different, but perhaps consciously or unconsciously choosing to work with what ya got. A “move” does not signify in and of itself radical change. What it might do is provide a damn good alternative to stay or go. Lately, I have decided to move in terms of my thinking about weight loss. I am not going to go crazy and join a gym. I am not going to beat myself over the head. I refuse to let anyone else make me do either of the aforementioned things. What I can do is go for a meaningful walk with my dog, go to the gym on a semi-regular schedule, but that’s it. If I stay the weight I am for the rest of my life, which is significant, it’s still the rest of my life. Emphasis on MY. As someone once told me: “Nobody ever dies and says… damn it… I should have had one less cheeseburger.” #truth #sad #real
Stay. Ahhh… the tried and true methodology of fulling yourself into thinking that everything is just fine. Guilty? Raise both your hands in surrender and stop beating your self to a pulp. Once you make the decision to do nothing, then that’s your choice. People are good at flogging themselves for that extra piece of cake or that second look at their job or spouse, but why? God gave us free will; exercise it and do it with pride and commitment. Just don’t whine. You’re fat? Ok. Let’s have some cake with our cankles! Want to whine about it? Nope. Just pass me the cake and shut your pie hole. I, and many other people for that matter, will listen for a hot minute, but then we’re out. You know why? You’ve made a choice! Not just A choice, YOUR choice. For me, to stay in anything would be a bold move, especially if I feel the strong tug to move or go. Stay is not my forte. I don’t do it well. Once I get the itch to move or go, I always mess things up – usually beyond repair. Perhaps I will be able to stay when I get older and everything is rooted. Perhaps I am waiting for my 40s or 80s? I don’t know, but right now, I choose to stay as happy as I can be with what I can be happy with: my move and my go.
Go. Now, this one is tricky. You may decide that it’s time to do something else, maybe the move just isn’t working or you’ve decided you’re just done. I mean D.ON.E. Perhaps you need to literally change locations/partners/jobs to get a new perspective. In the “go” scenario, you are leaving something – either a thought, place or action and doing something completely different in hopes of another outcome. Your friends and family may use the words “extreme,” “crazy,” “stupid,” my personal favorite “dumb bitch,” etc. However, just be mindful that your go may look like move and you may trick yourself into thinking that one can be the other.
What’s the difference between all of these?
Discomfort. If you are uncomfortable to the point where you want to reconsider the whole thing or feel like you’re jumping into a cavernous abyss that you’re pretty sure wolves call home… you’re in go. If that discomfort is mild and you can easily switch back, to say cheeseburgers, you’ve just moved. Note that move can eventually turn into go. For example, vegetarians who are long time vegetarians can’t just start eating meat again. Many get nauseous at the thought or throw up when they have just a little bit of meat. Psychological and physiological barriers exist, ergo they are in go whether they like it or not. Stay is easy, you feel pretty ok about it and just want to push through. Same old same with perhaps a happier face.
Where am I? I am uncomfortable. I quit my job on Tuesday. No two week notice necessary because I was THAT bad at it. Certain parts of the job – I was an all star, but there were others that dragged my little soul until it was bits. What next? I am a full time writer for the next 3 – 6 months with no foreseeable income, chugging out my first novel submission that’s agent ready. Thank you savings. #blessed #yup #startinover